A Mallet, a Pinket, and a Blondie
by Lucy Chibi Cyan Rose
Summary: What do you get when you come across a mallet, a pinket, and a blondie? Trouble. Nalu fluff. Enjoy!


A Mallet, a Pinkette and a Blondie

**HEY GUYS! Ok, I will be updating my Story – The Monsters under your bed- in the next few days! My crappy electricity went off, and I stupidly forgot to save 'cause I was so into it. . Don't worry, I remember what I out and everything so it hopefully shouldn't take me long. **

**Anyway, this story is totally separate : ) It's just a bit of fluff and humour for your guys to keep you going!**

**NALU ALL THE WAY!**

**ENJOY!**

"Hey, Mira? Have you seen Natsu around lately?" Lucy sat down at the bar of the guild and latched to hands together. She hadn't seen the pink haired pyro nearly all day. He hadn't been thrown in jail for destroying another town on their last mission, had he?

The blue eyed transformation mage smiled and nodded. "The last time I saw him was with Happy, and they were looking for you." She placed down a mug and wiped the top with a cloth. "They were carrying filled buckets and water guns." She tilted her head in thought. "I think they may have been heading towards your apartment."

Lucy blinked.

Lucy's eyes twitched.

A fire coiled in her eyes.

And that day, so many scenarios bounded around her head.

"_WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY APARTMENT?!"_

"_We couldn't find ya so we came back here."_

"_SO YOU TURN MY APARTMENT INTO AN AQUARIUM?!"_

Or…

"_WHY IS THERE A GIANT GOLDFISH ON TOP OF MY APARTMENT?!"_

"_Wanted to see what giant gold fish tasted like…"_

Even…

"_WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"_

"_How the hell should I know? It was Happy who dragged me into the sea."_

Lucy's eye brows twitched in suppressed anger. "I WON'T LET MY POOR APARTMETN BE BRUTALLY SNATCHED AWAY BY THE LIKES OF A BLUE CAT AND A PINK HAIRED IDIOT!" Lucy zoomed out of the guild with a pile of dust rising behind her.

Mira sighed and smirked. This should liven everybody up a notch.

Xxx

"Wha…" Lucy gaped and blinked in disbelief. "W-what have you done?"

To the floors to the ceiling were dripping with icy cold water. Her wardrobe was scorched, her bed covers –_ which weren't even there due to the fact they were burnt – _were reduced to nothing but a pile of ash. Her eyes dangerously trailed over to her ashed and scorched unfinished story. Her story. _Her story._

And suddenly, the shred of humanity that glued Lucy Heartphilia together was no more. All that was left of the said blonde was feiry red steaming eyes. Her knuckles cracked, her head creaked and, mechanically walking to her kitchen, she viciously acquired a long and particularly large mallet. "You…" She snarled dangerously. "I…am going…to _kill_ you."

A large bead of sweat travelled down Natsu's back. He shook violently and looked helplessly to his best friend Happy – _who had sneakily flown out of the window and left him to deal with the new and upgrade version of Erza Scarlet- _and squeaked in fear. Yes, squeaked.

He dove to the side when her advances of merciless pounding of the mallet came into contact with the wooden slated flooring. "W-Whoa!" He leapt out of the window and sprinted as fast and as far as he could. "OUTTA THE WAY! LUCY'S GONE MAD! EVERYONE RUN!"

Lucy, from behind him, snarled and kept an even pace, every few minutes throwing innocent people behind her and smashing the mallet into the defenceless concrete ground. She breathed heavily and ground her teeth together. She had lost him now, but she will find him. _She will find him._

Xxx

"KAAAA!" Natsu dove into the doors of Fairy Tail and leapt behind the bar where Mira stood. He pushed himself up and scanned the members carefully. "I'm gonna die…" He pulled at his hair in desperation. "Lucy'll stamp me to death with her mallet, and then throw me in the river, smack me with her mallet again and summon each and every spirit to do it all over again!" He fell into a small spotlight and bowed to an invisible force. "I'M TOO YOUNG AND AWESOME TO DIE!"

"Whoa, what's up with you, flame head?" Came Gray's cool comment. "What did you do to piss Lucy off this time?"

"Shut up, ice prick!" Natsu growled and shot up from behind the bar. "I had a water fight with Happy in her apartment, and alright I burnt a few things – including her book – but-"

"_You burnt Lucy's book?" _Levy dropped the book she was currently reading. Her bangs covered her face, and a dangerous vicious aura surrounded her. "_YOU BURNT HER BOOK?!"_

Natsu squeaked when Levy's hands clenched the clothing near his neck and shook him violently back and forth. "I HADN'T EVEN READ THAT BOOK YET YOU IDIOT! NOW I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO READ IT!" She threw him into one of the many corners of the guild and dangerously made a run up to throttle him once more.

Luckily, Gajeel stepped in and picked the book worm from the ground by her clothing at the back of her neck and held her suspended, in the air. "Oi, shorty. You ain't so easy to piss off. You're one of a kind, ain't ya, salamander?"

Natsu, once again, growled and picked himself up from the rubble, rubbing his head in an attempt to relieve the thrumming. "Shut up iron freak," He winced and brushed himself down. "Not like I meant to burn Lucy's book, anyway."

"Have you tried apologizing, Natsu?" Erza's eerily calm voice invaded his throbbed senses. _If he had any_. "Maybe you could calm her down by saying sorry, perhaps."

"Nah, apology hasn't been invented in his dictionary yet." Gray snickered from one of the tables.

PLAYER 4, GRAY FULLBUSTER K.O'D BY THE ONE AND ONLY ERZA SCARLET!

"Lucy's MAN! She can send away any man screaming with one whip or smack from _that_ celestial spirit mage!" He grinned. "You piss of Lucy for not doing missions regularly, so this shouldn't be too surprising."

PLAYER 6, ELFMAN STRAUSS K.O'D BY THE FIERY HANDED NATSU DRAGNEEL!

Natsu pouted. "C'mon, guys. Gimme a break. I nearly got flattened into the ground by a mallet." He crossed his arms. "And I don't see how saying sorry can help me now."

_SLAM!_

All Fairy Tail members froze in their places. Erza looked up in surprise at the growling, heaving and panting Lucy Heartphilia who wielded a large mallet. Her eyes were steaming red.

_Target Identified: Natsu Dragneel_

In the midst of her rage, Lucy made a dangerous advancement and prepared to swing her mallet down upon the dragon slayer, when-

"I'm sorry!"

The world froze. Donuts turned to life and swung from trees. Grannies went on a rampage of chasing monkeys with walking sticks. Cheese started to eat people, and superman smacked into a wall. "W-What?" Lucy still held her mallet high above her head, but the anger fled from her eyes.

"I said…" Natsu slowly picked himself up and pushed the mallet down. It dropped to the floor with a distant thud. He was vaguely aware of the height difference. He was like a fucking tower compared to her. Ha. Shorty Lucy. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have destroyed your apartment _or_ your story." He offered her a smile. "Forgiven?"

Lucy's face was tinged with a small smile. "Natsu…" Her hand weaved itself to his face. And then her smile slipped. "No."

SLAP!

He fell to the ground numbly and held his face in surprise. Lucy towered over him with her hands on her hips. "You broke into my apartment, decided to have a water fight, scorched most of my thing, and burnt my unfinished story, and now you have the _nerve_ to say 'I'm sorry'?" She clenched her fists. "What kinda jerk does that?!"

Maybe it was the drunken sensation of the triumphed anger that coursed through her veins. Maybe, it was the fact that she was towered over him, or maybe it was just the hurt that flashed through his eyes. She dropped into his surprised lap and pinned him to the ground. She lowered her head and brushed her cherry scented lips over his cracked and dry ones. "But you're _my_ jerk, so I'll forgive you this time." And with that, her lips touched his own, and suddenly, the fleeting feeling of exhilaration coursed through her.

Natsu's mind was blank were bewilderment. _Wasn't it always?_ The pyro sat, paralyzed with confusion, and blinked as best he could at the close proximity. Lucy took advantage of his confusion and forced entry into his heated mouth. She smirked against him and bit down on his lower lip. Natsu was surprised to the feeling of a foreign sound that escaped his mouth.

Unconsciously, Natsu's arm wrapped around Lucy's waist as his eyes slid closed. He pushed back against her mouth, and returned the sudden kiss with a surprising force.

Eventually they broke apart with much needed air, and Lucy smirked at his unusually darkened obsidian eyes. "_My _jerk? How cliché could you get, Luce?" His hoarse voice made the blonde girl giggle.

"Shut up, idiot."

"Erza, you owe me 50 jewels." There was Gray, alive and kicking.

"Oi, Macao, where's my 85 jewels?"

"I could ask you the same thing!"

"EVERYBODY OWES ME AT LEAST 200,000 JEWELS!"

And by that time, when Fairy Tail had once again broken out into a raging mess, Natsu and Lucy had vanished back to her apartment to clean the remains of it up.

Pff, yeah right.

**Thanks for reading!**

**I hope you enjoyed it. REMEMBER TO REVIEW!**

**Lucy xxxx**


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